Amalie Trudsø is a Danish author who writes novels about women’s lives with references to Copenhagen, where she now lives in Vesterbro. Kunsternerhjem (Artist’s home) is a book about a woman’s life from the 1940s to the 1970s, illustrating gender roles and expectations, a woman’s need for financial independence and autonomy, and themes surrounding men who abandon their families. Find Amelie online here: Gutkund’s Amalie Laulund Trudsø author page and Amelie’s Goodreads page. You can buy the book at Saxo.
I first found Amelie’s book when I was living in Copenhagen last year, browsing the shelves of Politiken Boghal at Rådhuspladsen. Politikens Boghal is one of my favorite bookstores in Copenhagen, due to the gorgeous selection of printed books, and they always seem to have an eye for beautiful texts. The cover of Kunsternerhjem drew me in instantly. It portrays a light-filled pink room, with a table where a flowery bouquet is laid, beside a pretty cup of coffee, fruits, bread, and a throw-over. The sunlight draws streaks on the walls, and the entire picture is so hygge. I wanted to keep the book as a memory of Copenhagen, of what I like about the city, and the way of life people seem to live there.
I didn’t buy it then and there, though. I was too lazy to carry many books home, since I knew I’d be moving back to Sweden soon. So, I moved back, settled down in Sweden again, and after a few months, when I started missing Copenhagen and the Danish language again, I ordered the book to be shipped to me. I had to wait for weeks, because I wanted to read it in Danish, as a book is always better in its original language. When it arrived, the cover and the contents were even prettier than I remembered. I took my time reading it because this is the type of book that is comforting for your heart, and it felt like it was meant to be enjoyed slowly. I wanted the enjoyment to be drawn out, because who knows when I’ll encounter a book like this again.
Kunsterhjem is about a woman’s life, from the 1940s to the 1970s. It starts in her childhood, telling us about her family and upbringing, followed by her younger years when she starts dating, and the expectations of her surroundings. She finds her partner, and they get married and move in together, and soon have three children. They were both young artists, painters when they met. However, the life of a young mother of three, with not much financial resources, hinders her from pursuing her art while her husband, on the other hand, is free to do as he wishes. This is a story about gender roles and expectations, about a woman’s need for financial independence, and how many men behave towards their partners and families.
Similarities to autobiographies by Sylvia Plath and Simone De Beauvoir
During the last few years, I have loved reading feminist literature or books written by women, for women. Two of my favorite female writers are Sylvia Plath and Simone De Beauvoir, who have also written autobiographic books or books based on their own life experiences as women. What struck me when reading Kunsterhjem by Amelie Trudsø is that there are many themes in this book that echo that of Sylvia Plath’s life and the opinions of Simone De Beauvoir.
Similar to the character in Kunsterhjem, Sylvia Plath was also married to a man, brilliant perhaps in his writing, but not a good or loyal husband. Plath also had two small children with her husband, who left her for another woman with whom he started a new family. Sylvia’s life, on the other hand, did not turn out as happily as in Kunsterhjem. Sylvia took her own life when she was just 30.
In The Woman Destroyed, Simone De Beauvoir’s character is similarly abandoned by her husband for another woman. In Beauvoir’s book, the woman is destroyed, going into a mental health crisis, and it is unclear how her story ends.
I find it interesting how all these three books: Kunsterhjem by Amelie Trudsø, The Woman Destroyed by Simone De Beauvoir, and the life of Sylvia Plath, all share the theme of young and gifted women, marrying a man who is artistic, charming, yet disloyal, having their children, and then being abandoned by them. It makes me wonder, how common is this experience of fathers abandoning their families? In my own life, I know many whose fathers have done the same, often in the early family years.
When fathers and husbands abandon their families
Men seem free to come and go as they please, often in a better financial position than their female counterparts. Yet, when they leave, it is the women who take on the responsibility for children and must find a way to build their own finances and independence. I remember when I grew up, my mother always told me to take care of myself in terms of getting a good education, to have my own career, financial independence, and not to depend on a man. I used to think she was a bit harsh in her tone, but as I get older, I understand what she means.
As a woman, there is no way to guarantee you won’t get abandoned by your partner or supporters, be it your family, a husband, or benefitiary. It does not seem like you can know beforehand who would and wouldn’t leave you, or what might happen in a relationship, even if no one leaves it. I think I agree with my mother that the best a person can do is to try to take care of themselves as best they can, whether they are alone or in a committed relationship. To get a good education, to have a good career, to save, invest, and build up other aspects of your life as well outside of the relationship, such as with friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues, and to develop useful skills.
This seems to be too recurring a theme to be unique, and of course, there is no way to control another person or to ensure that someone will want to stay in the same situation their entire lives. Neither am I sure that any law should solve this problem. Maybe the best we can do is to do what these authors have done – to share this story, to raise awareness of this risk, and to make young women as aware as possible of what could happen, and to help each other develop a support system and financial safety net, and to help each other if it happens.